Sexual Harassment, gender inequality, and discrimination are all issues that have been wrestled with in the workplace for decades.  You would be hard-pressed to find a manager or HR professional who hasn’t learned about these issues, received some sort of training about what they are, and strategies to help protect their organization against the damaging effects they can have.  But another issue that can be just as damaging, yet not altogether clear on how to identify and address, is workplace civility.  How do you differentiate workplace civility from harassment and discrimination? What risks does an organization have if it’s occurring in the workplace?  And most importantly – how do you address it?

What Does Harassment and Discrimination Look Like?

In its simplest form, harassment is unwelcome conduct that is intimidating, hostile, or abusive. It often interferes with an employee’s ability to work and becomes a condition of continued employment. Examples include racially derogatory jokes, comments or posters, or expressing negative stereotypes and more. Sexual harassment is unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and sexually-related verbal and physical abuse.

Discrimination occurs when people are adversely treated because of a protected class, including race, religion, sex or gender, nationality, age, disability, genetics, or any other defining characteristic. Examples include paying a higher salary to white employees over African American or Hispanic employees due to a person’s race, giving preferential treatment to males and less ideal work assignments to females due to a person’s sex or gender, or making assumptions and not hiring a disabled individual because of their disability – without first exploring whether they can do the essential functions of the job (acting on bias or stereotype instead of facts).

What Does Workplace Incivility Look Like?

According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), harassment and discrimination are illegal as they violate defined, protected characteristics. So what is workplace incivility? Researchers Anderson and Pearson define workplace incivility as “…a low-intensity deviant behavior with ambiguous intent to harm the target, in violation of workplace norms for mutual respect and courtesy.” People who engage in uncivil behavior may not necessarily have bad or harmful intent. However, the behavior may violate norms for mutual respect or demonstrate antisocial behavior.

It’s likely all of us, at some point or another, have witnessed or been subjected to uncivil behavior in both our work and personal lives. Examples of common workplace incivility include the following:

• Rudeness
• Ignoring someone or excluding co-workers or team members
• Berating a subordinate or co-worker
• Interrupting people or not allowing them to talk and provide input
• Mocking someone or spreading gossip
• Discourteous behavior
• Making unfounded accusations
• Use of demeaning language
• Creating unnecessary and irrelevant controversy
• Jamming a printer or copier and letting someone else deal with it
• Taking the last cup of coffee and letting someone else make a new pot

The key issue of workplace incivility that differentiates it from other forms of mistreatment is the concept of ‘ambiguous intent’. Perpetrators and victims aren’t always easily identifiable. For example, if a co-worker says, “Hello” and the person they’re speaking with doesn’t reply – it’s unclear whether the lack of response is intentional or if the person is simply distracted and/or didn’t hear the greeting. Regardless of intent, if this type of discourteous (or considered by some to be rude) behavior occurs frequently, whether by a few individuals or by many, it can have damaging effects to morale, productivity, and employee retention.

In a recent survey conducted by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), over 1,000 U.S. employees and two-thirds of workers (66 percent) said they had experienced or witnessed incivility in their workplace within the past month. Over half (57 percent) had experienced or witnessed incivility at work within the past week. Common examples of incivility include: addressing others disrespectfully, interrupting or silencing others, and excessive monitoring or micromanaging. Employees who believe their workplace is uncivil are twice as likely to say they will leave their jobs over the next 12 months.

Incivility can be detrimental to any organization, and it’s contagious! Individuals tend to mimic the behaviors they’re subjected to over time. For self-preservation purposes or just by falling into bad habits surrounding them, uncivil behavior can begin to permeate a workplace and create a negative, even toxic, work environment.

But there’s no universal standard of what constitutes uncivil behavior; it’s often based on local norms and courtesies. Incivility is defined at a local and even personal level; what may be uncivil in one environment and to one person may be completely civil in a different situation. Bearing this in mind, what can employers do to create a more courteous and civil work environment and build consensus among employees on what that looks like?

What Does Workplace Civility Look Like?

Dr. Cynthia Clark, Founder of Civility Matters™, developed a definition of workplace civility.  She defines it as an “authentic respect for others, requiring time, presence, a willingness to engage in genuine discourse, and an intention to seek common ground.” She also provides basic instructions on how to practice civility at work, such as:

Respect – Respecting your coworkers means valuing and affirming their worth as a person. You may not like them or admire them, but they are human beings with the same needs to be validated and affirmed as you. See them as equals, deserving the respect and dignity you deserve.

Time and Presence – Respect your coworkers’ time. Respond to their emails and calls quickly, and ask them if they have time to chat with you before you interrupt them. Be present at meetings willing to offer your ideas and feedback. Be present at social gatherings to get to know your coworkers.

Willingness to Engage and Intention to Seek Common Ground – Engage in dialogue, not debate. Do not argue with coworkers. Instead, try to understand their points of view. Seek to understand their perspectives by saying, “Tell me more about that” or “I’d like to hear your perspective on that.” The goal of a workplace conflict or conversation is not who wins and who loses, rather it is seeking common ground for the improvement and good of the company.

Advancing Civility in Your Workplace

In 2024, SHRM put civility in the forefront, launching the initiative “1M Civil Conversations.” According to SHRM research, over half of US workers believe our society is uncivil. To help HR professionals evaluate civility on their teams, SHRM developed the Civility Index, a free tool designed to gauge civility in your workplace and facilitate civil conversations internally.

As with anti-harassment and discrimination initiatives, promoting and maintaining a civil work environment should be a priority of business leaders and HR professionals alike.  In this fast-paced world where business demands and work pressures continue to mount, practicing civility is not always easy. By defining what workplace civility looks like in your organization and ensuring those behaviors are modeled by leaders at every level, you’re more likely to maintain a positive work environment and reap the rewards of it long-term.

A special thanks to Terry Salo and Colleen Mahoney, PHR, HR Business Advisor, for sharing their insights and findings on civility. 

Do difficult situations with employees keep you awake at night? Clark Schaefer Strategic HR understands how employee conflicts can make or break your day (or a good night’s sleep). Call us when you encounter a difficult situation – we can help coach your managers, suggest solutions, or advise you on a specific problem. Learn more about our services by visiting our Employee Relations page or by contacting us today.