HR Question:

We have a team of employees whose work requires them to interact daily, but they just cannot seem to get along with one another. It is impacting their own job satisfaction as well as the culture of our workplace. What should we do?

HR Answer:

You are not alone in experiencing personal conflict amongst team members at your workplace. Most good leaders and supervisors have had to address this type of interpersonal dilemma with their team at some point in their careers. And unfortunately, it seems to be happening more frequently for a variety of reasons.

With the help of a few good tactics and a great HR partner, it is possible to address conflict in work relationships and help employees find functional strategies for moving forward and working well together. Here are some steps to take:

Start with Active Listening

The first step to addressing conflict is to actively listen, which involves far more than simply hearing the words your employee is saying. It means listening to your employee’s concerns with an open mind and no prejudgment, seeking a full understanding of what’s going on from their perspective. You need to pay attention to both their verbal message and non-verbal cues to better ascertain how the situation is impacting them physically and emotionally. Most importantly, your objective is to gather information and understanding, not to refute what the employee is saying.

As you, the supervisor, are assisting employees in resolving conflicts, speak to the employees involved individually, and allow them to air their concerns. Sometimes just the opportunity to be heard alleviates a significant portion of the problem. Ask probing questions and seek to understand what the actual conflict is, what is triggering it, and what continues to drive it. Carefully listen to the answers. Is it a personality conflict, a work style conflict, a conflict in the process or procedure of the work itself, or just a simple misunderstanding?

For your employees, consider providing professional training on how to become attentive listeners helping them to hone their listening skills, understanding, and developing empathy toward one another. And then practice this every chance you get – in group meetings, one-on-one meetings, and even in casual conversations with your employees. Recognize and call out this positive behavior when you see it.

For more on active listening, we encourage you to read one of our favorite books on this topic: The Art of Active Listening by Heather R. Younger.

Serve as a Mediator

After you have listened to your employees express what in some cases can be an exhaustive list of gripes, help them to identify and focus on 2-3 key points of concern. Discuss what they feel they can do and what the other person(s) can do differently to address and eliminate the conflict. Ask them to write down the list of concerns and action steps and present it to you the next day. Writing this list will more effectively focus the employee on the important issues and guide the conversation you will have with the employees together.

Next, bring the employees together and lay down the ground rules for the conversation, including:

• Be quiet and listen without interrupting when the other person is speaking
• Be respectful in their words and tone to one another
• Align on the goal of seeking to understand the other person’s perspective and make changes

Allow each employee to share their list of concerns, what they can do to improve the conflict, and what they need from the other person to improve the conflict.

At the end of the meeting, prepare an action plan with the changes or steps they both agree to take to reduce conflicts and address any new issues proactively. Have them sign this agreement and give each employee a copy.

Once employees have engaged in this process, encourage them to take these same steps to address conflicts directly with their coworkers in the future. They may still need someone else to talk to or organize their thoughts with, but teaching these skills will improve overall communication.

Build A Bridge

Help your employees get to know one another – what makes them excited about their jobs, what sets them off, what environment they work most effectively in, and how they want to be communicated with. When employees know their colleagues, they improve their communication, teamwork, conflict resolution skills, and overall relationships.

DiSC training is an excellent way to deepen your team’s understanding of themselves and their coworkers inspiring positivity and lasting behavior that can reshape your team.

Communicate Clear Expectations

As a leader, it is your responsibility to set the expectations for appropriate conversations, respectful behavior, kind language, open dialogue, and addressing conflict. If you do not say it is NOT OKAY to talk about your coworker behind their back or to use disrespectful words or a derogatory tone of voice, then you are allowing it to happen.

And most importantly, practice what you preach. Lead by example. Have critical conversations timely and work on conflict resolution strategies with your team.

If you’re not sure how to do that, look into professional training for you, your organization leaders, and your employees in the areas of crucial conversations, conflict resolution, resiliency, and workplace civility.

HR professionals can help you use these strategies to improve employee relations and create a more productive workplace. For further assistance, reach out to the experts at Clark Schaefer Strategic HR, who can provide coaching, mediation, communication training, and DiSC training.

Thank you to Lorrie Diaz, MS, PHR, Senior HR Business Advisor, for sharing her expertise in this HR Question of the Week.

Are you having difficulties with employees not getting along or struggling to manage disrespectful behaviors? The HR experts at Clark Schaefer Strategic HR have years of Employee Relations experience to help you resolve your toughest people challenges. For example, we can facilitate the Everything DiSC assessment –  a transformative experience helping your employees work better together.